I’ve talked previously about the Tribe and the importance they have in my life. Here: I am part of a Tribe
Recently a Tribe member called Catherine Edsell posted a TEDx of a talk she gave on: How an adventure with other women could change your life | Catherine Edsell | TEDxLondon Here It hit a few nerves with me.
At around 19 weeks pregnant we moved to a new area (a new country technically) where 90% of the people generally speak a different language. I was working in the new area, then stopped for health reasons and my husband is mostly working away so I can go for days without speaking to anyone. I’ve gone from being able to text a mate to meet for a coffee to it taking 4 hours to get to see them and the change it’s had on my mental health has been startling.
Catherine’s TEDx hit a nerve with me in many ways. She talked about the social isolation that motherhood can bring which has re-highlighted that this loneliness isn’t necessarily over, but also that it is a common issue which has given me some peace. In the past women would have spent more time together in groups sharing childcare, but this seems to be less common in modern society. I think this is helping to create more social isolation. It made me realise that I need to try and change this, if not only for my metal health. Catherine also talked about the steps she has taken to help other mothers which in turn has helped her. This made me think.
To try and create a new social life (aka Tribe) I have joined a mums group, will be attending language lessons with my neighbour next week and I have spent time wondering around in my new local area trying to gauge what’s on offer, but there isn’t much going on here. There are no parenting classes, no pregnancy fitness classes, not even a reading group!
I still don’t have any friends here and it’s really hard work filling the days while my husband is away working, but things are slowly changing. By making an effort to reach out to people I have found things are on offer. It’s minimal, but it is there and it is a building block. Hopefully the mums group will be a good social outlet, hopefully learning the local language will help me feel less isolated and mean that I can engage with people better. Hopefully it will lead to more things to do in the area.
It’s also stirred something in me. There is clearly a gap in the market. There are pregnant women in the area, there has got to be pregnant women who want to do exercise so I am going to start looking into how to facilitate that and then, if it looks achievable, fold it into my husbands and my business.
I think I have a goal. Watch this space.